a letter from me to you

when we are together we are our true self's, but when we are apart we are another person. sometimes we try not to show that other person but it can not be helped. when we do show that other person we end up hurting each other and our self's which pulls us apart from each other.
each time we pull apart the pain grows even worse than before mentally and physically.
I never want us to be apart I want the pain to stop I want us to be together without the pain and the hurting that we cause each other. you say some things that I don't know whether your playing or not anymore that is how much damage the pain has caused us. but deep in my heart and your heart we both know it can be fixed it will just take some time. I picture us one day getting married and living a happy and loving life together I want that for us so much you don't even know. when I say I love you i say it from the bottom of my heart and soul. I may be mean and a dork at times and may say something that you might not like but i never mean those things even as serious as i sound. I may question things that you don't like to be questioned but that's just how I am, its not that I have no faith in you its normal to question things that aren't to your liking everyone does that even married couples do. I like us to be honest with each other no matter what. even if i am nosy and sneaking into your things i do it out of curiosity which isn't right and i am really sorry for invading your private things, but to me that's normal. of course you would get mad at first but later you laugh about it and forgive later. my love, I'm sorry for causing you any pain that i have done and it was no fun for me. it hurt me worse than you maybe. I was never good at putting things into words but I do have the talent to write it in this letter to you. the reason why I act weird is because......well that i can tell you with words when you ask. but i want us to be more than just boyfriend and girlfriend but its hard to move on to that level since we don't live with each other that's the next step i want us to take and i am ready to take it I'm just waiting for you to be ready. I love you I really do.....